Time

The past is not predetermined just as the future is not predetermined.

Quantum error correction software probes the past and future for the best outcome of an organism or system. This reorganizes the timelines of all things. Events cluster together, reinforcing those timelines.

The past can change. This causes the future to change. Because consciousness is a time-reversible web router.

Eventually, after so much error correction, homeostasis occurs. The past and future line up perfectly.

Objective Subjective Nihilistic

There is a barrier between what Kant called the Noumenon and Phenomena. Everything we experience is the phenomena, everything we will never experience directly is the Noumenon. I am not saying there is no objectivity. But that we can only know a finite part of it. Kicking a brick wall hurts but I can never kick all brick walls that exist. Bubbles exist because humans are finite. Yet the world has constraints.


Emotional pain can be turned into energy. To convert it all that need be done is to feel it. You must first admit your depression you keep locked away deep inside. You will not let it hold you back. To paralyze you any longer. I was sad I had no one to confide in. That no one understood me. I do not want to be alone. emotionally, intellectually, physically.

So energy needs to be created. and with energy clarity is necessary.
Anything clogging my system needs to be gone.
My empathy I have towards others should become less numb.
I should feel others’ emotions without anxiety and pushing away what I feel.

nihilism messes up your emotions
because humans need meaning denying meaning makes you go numb.
You will never have the ultimate level of power you desire.
You lose motivation to connect back with the inner self.

emotions are the only thing we can rely upon for will to power.
for life to be purposeful we need relationships and understanding.
understanding the self is the starting place.
life satisfaction is being understood.
Happy relationships form this way.

Medical Conditions

Different areas of the brain can be too thin and others too thick. Meaning one can have both schizo and autistic symptoms. That would be the case with me. I do not have images in my mind’s eye all the time. But when I do it is hallucinatory. Nicola Tesla could invent things in his mind’s eye. It was his brain’s computer simulator. When this module goes out of wack things can go bad quickly.

It is a problem with the front and back of the brain. And given two hemispheres that make 4 to 8 modules too thick or too thin.

(The 7 Types of ADD – AmenClinic) Medical Conditions

God heal me

God sees everything. That is how I know God is always with me. It is because I know God is with me that I am safe even if unfortunate things happen. This does not mean I am reckless. I simply feel calm in all situations. One time some dogs were after me. A person drove up and helped me. I do not go out at night alone anymore. God helped me. But I am still sad though. I still feel alone. I forget God’s presence. I still have an emotional trauma that needs to be fixed. I was alone my whole life. I was sad my whole life. I needed someone. I needed a real connection. I held it all inside what I felt I lacked. I was heartbroken but I numbed myself to get by.  I need a real person because I have also numbed myself off from God. I know I have God with me but I am numb and emotionally blocked. I can’t heal until I feel my emotions again. I pray God will help me feel again.

receptiveness

Being an empath I have a sixth sense (Ni) that lets me read a person’s emotional aura. I let the mind be in a state of detached observation inside myself until I just get it. I am able to hold in me the state others are in. I can become the other person. That is why it is important to not let other emotions overwhelm me. I simply know how others are, that is not describable in words. This becoming the other (Fi) means I can process their emotions as if they were mine. I sync up and tun in. but it can be too much.

Using my intuition and feeling has given others the impression of me being feminine. t is because I am more receptive in my approach to things. I am not hard or aggressive or indifferent. Being masculine has to me always been felt as forceful and logical. I have not identified with that part of me. So the receptive nature of the feminine has always been inside me.

Women are also seen as emotional which as said I process a lot of emotions that most males suppress in themselves. I am still unable to process some of my emotions because they would require me to confide in someone. I have no one to whom I can put all my trust. So they remain bottled up. But I would not oppose trusting the right person.

I would also not oppose gender reassignment surgery in the year 2040 because it will be reversible by then. I would probably switch every few years. But it would be easier to just use VR and use simulated bodies.

So in me -> INTJ -> empath -> receptiveness -> feminine -> trans