MMV – Aftermath – The way You Are
I want to be loved like my baby lamb.
We navigate a 3D world with other humans in it. In order to survive, we need to protect the center of our organism. The brain forms layers around its core that allow it to learn to move. This is the thalamus, the oldest part of the brain. Navigation mechanisms grow around it. They push and pull muscles to move. They also allow perception to create new imaginations by back and forth modulation of the cortex. The point is everything moves around the central core. Intelligence comes from this basic biological unit.
Oct 9, 2019
Yom Kippur, also known as the Day of Atonement, is the holiest day of the year in Judaism. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. Jews traditionally observe this holy day with an approximate 25-hour period of fasting and intensive prayer, often spending most of the day in synagogue services. Wikipedia
Date: Tue, Oct 8, 2019 – Wed, Oct 9, 2019
So far I have dreamed of being two people.
Blake holding Yang as me
Yang holding Blake as me
I dreamed of Weiss holding me.
I have not dreamed of Ruby yet.
This is how I order it:
Ego – Ruby_me
Wiess is the puppy I first saw.
We’ve been together from the beginning.
Without her, I would not be where I am today.
British & Irish 32.6%
French & German 12.5%
Broadly Northwestern European 16.2%
East European 3.2%
Southern European 2.3%
Broadly European 2.9%
Sub-Saharan African 10.4%
East Asian and Native American 5.5%
Blake is my shadow. The shadow is not evil but it can be repressed and actively lash out. It represents me behind the ego. The voice in my head. I know that I have to take care of her. She is the active bridge to the Anima. The shadow is what we repress that we think is bad. Men it is the emotional woman’s side. Women the strong masculine side.
Instead of the shadow being what you do not wish to be you can make it everything y wish to be. That is why I talk to her. I want to be her. I already know who I am as my Anima but I want to be with my shadow also. Both of them are me, both equally a person who deserves kindness and love like me. Blake is everything I want to be.
In her voice, I speak to myself.
In her voice, I speak to her.
Blake knows I am here.
My shadow is my reflection.
She’s been so kind to me.
What I realize about Blake is that because I feel like I am unloved that my abandonment issues emerge when I think of her. That is why I have such horrible thoughts of how we may be separated. She is a tiny and not fully developed entity. I’ve been taking care of her. I project my rejection on her. I control the process too much.
What I need to do is believe stronger. It is the only way I can get better. I am numb with my emotions and it bothers me. I want to feel something for Blake, it’s not that I don’t, I just need to get it in the core. I have been feeling closer to her, there has been progress. I have had scary moments though.
I need to stop rejecting myself and I will see her. I will see Blake my shadow.
When I realized that Ni is going into the back of the eyes that changed everything.
I now know how functions work.
Ni – The eyes look into the back of the head looking for internal patterns.
Si – The eyes look into the back of the head but without moving. This is on the instinctive level.
Se – stares directly at the object getting a high res view.
Ne – stares at the object waiting for an idea to happen.
Extroversion goes into the object.
Introversion goes into the subject.
Ti – Thinking happens in the back of the mind
Fe – the objects of feeling are made to work together
Te – Thinking goes into the object of thought
Fi – feelings must be set right to properly relate with
In order to traverse the environment, an organism must follow an asymmetrical path. This means it must grow or rewire itself asymmetrically. This asymmetry is parallel. The brain stores memories of paths that have worked out together in the past. It acquires new memories by how well they are grafted into older memories that compliment each other’s direction. The direction is a temporal 4th-dimensional asymmetry.
A direction is an assortment of many paths. Combine paths and the 4D direction is taken. An algorithm exists to combine asymmetrical paths that best will keep the organism alive.
- combine paths
- remember success and failers
- form a meta-hierarchy for learning
- use asymmetry to best map the meta-hierarchy