Processing is analogous to manufacturing.
You turn a crack and a line makes tuna cans.

If there were 6 people turning the crack,
I would be the slowest person turning it.

It takes me 6 times longer to work with information than the fastest person.

Some people are ten times faster.
And some people work with information 100, times faster than me.
They have Processing speed at 115.

My brother is 15 times faster than me.
He gets mad at me for being slow.

I need to pause quite some time to process.
People that are fast can get things out immediately.
Something new happens and the response immediately.

Their throughput is high.

What I should try to do in not go so fast.
It causes too much anxiety/pressure to speed up.
Not knowing what to do is worse when your slow figuring out situations.

Slow real time thinking

I do not think in real time.
Some can think at the same time they see a movie.
I cannot see my thoughts so they are mostly low-resolution outlines.
Working things out in my head is just slow.

I can still keep track of the logical order and reasoning of a discussion.
I know what people have said and what makes sense, I keep track of whats said.

I just can’t go as fast as normal.
I go faster when I know something.
But thinking something new makes me slow down tremendously.
Some think of new stuff automatically, I can’t.

Thinking new stuff fast is hard.
Thinking in real time is hard.
I cannot see/hear my thoughts.
I have trouble working things out.

Its a problem with my internal feedback mechanism.

A.I. back and forth exchange

The way computers implement A.I. today is to extract features from images adding them together in layers to find the abstract nature of a dog or a cat or anything else. Another way is to extrapolate all permutations of linguistic conventions to “reason” out answers by hypothesis testing of what is known and not known. This is what IBM has done. The point of utilizing A.I. as a tool is to create a fuller picture of the world and what happens in it and what can be done to influence it. Currently, the most effective way of interacting with A.I. is by voice. Visual interaction will soon follow. The way individual objects can be identified is because of the feature extraction which basically is a high dimension profile in comparison to all other profiles. Profiles are not new but the great volume of data allows predictions to be extremely accurate. The only problem is this information is used for advertisement. A real benefit would be to modify the profile yourself selecting what you want and don’t want in it. And to use the A.I. to follow your commands and explain to it the quality of its performance. The reasoning is there, the visuals are getting there. And the model of you the A.I. creates can create multiple self-enclosed branches of how your actions will evolve. All this is based on preferences and getting the most detailed representation of what is in your head. The goal of creating A.I. is to map reality to change it. With back and forth exchanging of people with the internal feedback of the A.I. system mapping reality should become complex enough for it to have the intelligence of an above average human.


The Budha when meditating with the ascetics nearly starved to death not eating. As he sat under the bodhi tree he had the thought, “I have wasted my life, If I die now I will never understand how to end the karmic cycle of suffering”. Just then a girl appears and seeing the Buddha shriveled and staring gave him a bowl of rice milk. The Buddha felt so happy and sad at the same time. He knew what he must do next. After washing up he sat under the bodhi tree and sad, “I swear I will not move from this spot until I have my answer”. As he sat Mara the devil tempted him with pleasures and showed him the most horrific things. But the Buddha was unmoved as each anxiety he had blossomed into ecstatic bliss. The Buddha extinguished all his Karma. He gained full awareness of the entirety of his brain. He could make his mind do anything by the will of being unmoved. He could see anything he wanted to see and hear anything he wanted to hear that he created with his mind. He broke the karmic cycle and was found the peace he had sought for five years.

Similarly the same happened to Jesus of Nastherith reading the Tora and being in the desert 40 days and nights. At his Transfiguration, his face shines like the sun. He was perfect completely filled with the holy spirit. The result of a pure mind capable of creating anything within. (Even the winds and the waves obey him!)

Internal Volition

I have learned several things.
Intelligence tests are seeing how good a human calculator you are.
The mind coordinates itself to do internal and external manipulation.
Some people can solve a Rubix cube just in their head eyes closed by a visual process.
Einstein solved much of his math problems by seeing them with his eyes closed.
He did this with shapes and colors internally.
I do not see anything eyes closed. I am extremely week in mental calculations.
But the brain can coordinate itself in other ways by how it’s wired up.
The only thing I experience in my head is energy sensation.
I feel my memories I don’t have any 5 sense experience of them.
I feel in my head the memory of my 10 birthday cake.
I do not know what kind it is but I have some form of super memory.
And I have some kind of pattern recognition problems solving ability.
I don’t know what it is but I will just have an idea that makes sense.
I have a hard time with myself because I have so little volition internally.
I have recently been able to control the feelings of my mental states.
Because I am not a human calculation I think my internal perception is the source of my intelligence allowing me to understand thing most would not.
Perception is not the same as calculation but it allows me to understand.
I am not sure my understanding is creativity as normally seen.
I don’t make anything other than ideas.
And internally I wish I had mental volition.

Indifference and Hope

I have experienced this sense once. It to me felt like the universe was empty. And I was the only one in it. Others were isolated from me. I still knew they existed but I had the feeling that the universe was indifferent to me and them. What I went through was disassociation. I had nothing to care about either. But I loved walking in the empty mall at 8 am. It felt like my home. Because I knew this place was full of life. I would think about the Tech Singularity on the group walks. The group home was 3 blocks away from the mall. I’d sit in the bookstore on the weekend. I like malls because they feel like caves. My dreams feel like caves. But the feeling of aloneness being in the universe is contrasted by the feeling that the universe is not empty and indifferent and that someday it will be that way always. I have things that I love and the feelings of that never left me. They will never leave me and knew I would have them again when the aloneness past. I knew this even as I shut down and stopped doing things. Even in my brokenness, deep down I still had hope.


Intelligence is like picking a lock with tools. The wires in the brain are making multiple adjustments picking many locks at the same time as one interconnected mechanism. This means the wires need to coordinate with each other on each step of the process. Using memory to solve known steps and forming new memories with newly learned patterns. Holding everything in mind all the steps. Making combinations of perceptions to create something new. This is back-engineering by feedback. Internal feedback is Introversion. Association is how memory creates insight without steps. But the same pathways are used.

Frontal Lobes

The front of the brain’s job is impulse control and selective attention. Because of my anxiety, my brains frontal lobes were working too hard. Doing normal things burned me out. Everything took effort not to have a nervous breakdown. Impulse control allows the brain to self-organize. It allows you to see and hear more. and have more fluid motor control. With attention, detached observation allows enhanced perception. The process is controlled distraction does not interfere with growing new connections for perception. Motor control learns balance faster again correcting for interference. When under stress interference cannot be canceled out as noise and so perception and balance cannot develop with connection growth. The faster the frontal lobes cancels noise the faster one learns and becomes smarter.

Control Mechanism

The frontal lobes are exceedingly important to mental manipulation. They are important to understanding causality and the consequences of one’s actions. Impulse control either inhibits or proceeds with muscle actions. Perception lets them know what is and is not working. Things push back or give way to pressure. This is how we learn what can be done. The way the wires are set up determines how many things we can manipulate. But to control feedback must follow the diagram of the wiring. This allows memory to lean following the pathways of the wires. The pathways allow prioritization in parrel so that I order to know what to do the correct steps are taken to understand the best ways of mental manipulation to generate an outcome. Knowing the boundaries and limits of changing something in the world allows you to shape it how you want to. This means dependencies exist that the control mechanism of the frontal lobes explores to affect the world. To learn to control you need to know how things push back.

Intimate Attraction

awareness, honesty, vulnerability, trust

can stand back and be objective.

People can just be too strong opinionated and must be right all the time because if they are not right it conflicts with their self-image identity. I want someone (Humble)

Awareness because some people have no clue. They live their lives asleep. They do not see the real people in front of them. They are on autopilot from their programming. Awareness allows you to stand back from yourself and not be so reactive.

honesty, vulnerability, trust keep a person from building up resentment because they can express themselves without being looked down upon. You stop blaming others and feel those feelings you need to feel. Then you can be responsible as you love someone.

Confession, I learned this from anime characters, not real people.
But its what attracts me because it is what I think you need for two people to truly care about each other in the closest way. No projection of your insecurities onto the other.