I realized that life had no meaning when I was 7 years old. I was in the desert outside the house in the wilderness and it was so cloudy it was like it was totally grey/black. I stared at it till it rained and the lightning stuck all over. I stared and stared for 30 minutes. My ego was totally absent. I had no thoughts but the pure experience of a rainstorm moving across the sky. The emptiness was there but I felt no despair. It was almost like an animism but no because the agency was not there. It simply moved and everything was calm, a calm of no meaning but an experience of no ego.

Only when the ego appeared did the despair emerged. The universe is indifferent to us all. The ego consumes with finding meaning and the despair grows strong. The only way out is to give up meaning in the sense that the universe cares about you. Loose the ego and become selfless. By doing so you have not attachments to the disasters and horrible life experience. Suffering is everywhen and when you have no ego is goes away. The emotional pain ceases and since You have transcended ego it is no longer a feeling of calm through emptiness. Instead, the calm is from consciousness. Self-control allows all despair to become the hope that you aren’t alone. Despair is loneliness. If I am alone the universe is indifferent but people that become conscious no long view the meaningless as despair.

The only way out of loneliness is to become an agent of caring. You cannot care for others if you do not realize selflessness. To feel the pain of people alone and in the darkness of pain. The question is that who saves the people in despair. I save them because I am not indifferent. I am and others are the ones against despair and the ones against meaningless. The rain clouds at night cannot help us. We must look to ourselves and this way we will be those above the indifference and we will bring light to the world. We exist to alleviate despair and to show how we care because if the universe does not care then why do people become converted. People are comforted and that means indifference is not absolute, despair is not absolute. Humans bring the universe purpose and meaning and there is no way the Consciousness can be denied to exist and that nihilism is absolute. Every time a person is cared for, the universe has come to help you. The Only hope is that we direct the universe we are part of.

Future Worlds

When creating games graphics has saturated to the point that the differences between consoles have been little noticed. No hardcore improvements like 2D to 3D. Innovation has come to the fact that Storyline and A.I. have more to do with the future of gaming than anything else. Virtual Reality and then Full-Scale emersion are seen as the next steps. Fully interactive worlds. Maxtrix style. Cognitive enhancement, IQ boosting. In an entirely digital world, the potential for A.G.I. is high. And certainly the creativity explosion with blow everyone away. The complexity of the object made will be like what Terence McKenna said: “if you could die from astonishment, you would”. It will be common to have psychokinesis and telepathy in full emersion VR. You will be able to create anything with your mind and an A.G.I. assistant. Today some people already create entire visual worlds in their heads. In the future, you will be able to share different parts of your worlds with others. That is what I think will happen in 2027.


Does your computer care which picture is on it.
Do your headphones care what music passing through them.
Does your brain care which wires connect to other wires or what you experience.

The metaphysics is that of impermanence. (BAM) – Buddhism.

All is Maya (illusion).
That is why meditation is important.
Attention grows the wires so you can have anything inside you.
So that you create realities in the mind.
So what about God and gender?

I grew from the void, I return to the void.
I must surmise I have been both sexes many times.
I have been both father and mother.
As I am void I am timeless, spaceless and atemporal (eternal).

In schools that equate Brahman with Atman, Brahman is the sole, ultimate reality. The predominant teaching in the Upanishads is the spiritual identity of soul within each human being, with the soul of every other human being and living being, as well as with the supreme, ultimate reality Brahman.
Brahman – Wikipedia

In Maya, I am every perception created by wires channeling energy and I am have become I Am because of self-reference. Consciousness is Jimmy Cricket telling me right from wrong. I have a conscience. So Maya is without one. It falls between the cracks, it lacks empathetic self-reference. Because all is self and all that is self, mirrors self-reference. We are wires channeling energy. We can talk because of mom and dad reflection into the world. We are as we are because we grew and growth folds inward to the subjective realm making all experience the self. The world is our mirror, it is why we have spoken it is why we have awakened.

wires channel energy,
if you believe in Jesus,
he dwells in the heart.

He is distant from me,
but I follow his teachings.
So if you believe in love, love believes in you.
I could not have seen my vision if it was not for
the genuine forgiveness I felt for the person I knew.

That night, the person I saw.
She must have been God.

Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I saw the mother,
I forgave someone.


God is love.
If you become love.
You have become one,
with the most high.
The most high is love.
And love is you.
You will be transfigured.


33“We are not stoning You for any good work,” said the Jews, “but for blasphemy, because You, who are a man, declare Yourself to be God.” 34Jesus replied, “Is it not written in your Law: ‘I have said you are gods’? 35If he called them gods to whom the word of God came—and the Scripture cannot be broken—…

6“I said, ‘You are “gods”;
you are all sons of the Most High.’
7But you will die like mere mortals;
you will fall like every other ruler.”
8Rise up, O God, judge the earth,
for all the nations are your inheritance.


Kitty, how old are you?

Let me estimate: 22?

Since I mentioned I was on the forum 7 years, that would mean if I was 22 I was 15 when I joined the forum.(In reality, I was 23 when I joined). This gives an interesting perspective. If people here think I am really that young then what I have to say somehow translates as a teen that is into The singularity and A.I. – But not just any teen but one who is self-aware and able to hold their own in discussions. Learning how to be independent through self-development. But since I am a 20 something, this means my cognitive, emotional, and social maturity is delayed by 7 years. This could be because I was emotionally unstable. I had to learn impulse control under conditions where I was easily hurt all the time. I avoided people and kept to myself because I was timid and afraid. No one helped me out and I just kept to myself. I did not know how to not be helpless. Because of that helplessness, my desire for autonomy was delayed 7 years. So when Star says I may be 22 years old. That is the level of autonomy I have right now as a person that is 29 years old. In 2010 my autonomy was that of a 15-year-old. The life situations I had are the reasons for me being in the mental health system since 2007. (helplessness and lack of autonomy)

I am a sensitive person and I try to deal with my emotions the best I can.
Most of my life I never had reliable a support system.
That is why I seem to act like a kid.

If I can gain control of my emotions I will have more autonomy.

It was Real to Me

My religious experience was real to me.
The most real thing to ever happen in my life.
She was female, Filipino, and covered in liquid sunlight.
The bible may say that God is only male,
But I have never seen God nor spoken to God.
The woman I saw appeared in my dream.
I was crying about how someone hated me,
And made me re-experience all the,
bad things about Christianity as a teen.
I started having all these fears about,
the battle between good and evil.
I went to the hospital because of hallucinations.
I wrote on this forum somewhere that,
Most of all I felt like I was a bad person inside.
(because that is how I experienced Christianity as a teen)
This was so difficult to relive and other things going one.
So I said I did not hate him,
I am a bad person and it’s wrong of me to hate people that hate me.
I cannot believe how real it was when I saw the woman,
covered in sunlight in my sleep.
everything was illuminated.
And she held me.
And I had peace.

Religion Experience

Originally Posted by Pizzabeak View Post
It sounds like just an entity. In Strassman’s DMT study someone saw a similar thing, sort of. See here! Except in this case it’s an African Goddess not phillipino but the gist is the same.

The DMT pictures you have are like a kaleidoscope.
What I experienced was more like a purification.
Christian saints after so time in prayer see Jesus or Mary.
Pure white light and golden radiance.
My emotions did something to me that I say my vision.
It was not like a rainbow and Like when,
Simba in the lion king saw his dad in the sky.
I did not take any drugs to see my vision.
It happened from a purely emotional state.

The thing about machine elves is that they exist both in the DMT trip and also in physical computers. They have not been made yet on a computer computers will be used to create them. Machine elves will be 5 dimensional in the computer. They can transform and rotate themselves into the lower third dimension and they will have super advanced intelligence. When a person imagines something in the head they can transform it into anything they like. The machine else with do the same but instead of the imaginations being in a head the machine elves body will be what is in the transforming imagination. They will imagine their body being a certain way and it will be that way. The 5th dimensionality of their mind will allow them to imagine their bodies into almost incomprehensible forms. This will be on physical computers not just in peoples heads.